Femmes Fatales
by Bryn Gwyrdd
Summary: Amanda proves that the female of the species is more dangerous than the male - with some help.


Disclaimer: I do not own of these characters; they are the property of Shoot the Moon Enterprises and Warner Bros. Television. I acknowledge gratefully the hard work of the creators of the series who brought to life characters we like so much we can't let them go.

A short filler story in response to WhiteFeather1965's FB challenge to begin a story with _(Character name) rolls eyes and says, "Oh no._ _Here we go_ _again."_

 **Femmes Fatales**

"Oh no, here we go again" muttered Amanda with a mental eye roll as she left Dr. Kelford's office and saw Fred walking down the hall towards her with that smile on his face. All day long, as she'd moved around the Agency researching the Hale jewels, she'd been seeing that look on people's faces as she passed. Conversations had stopped abruptly as she entered rooms, she'd heard muffled sniggers after she'd passed but worst of all was the smiles. The smiles that ranged from sympathetic - some real, some patently false – to outright grins as if there was a huge joke going on that she didn't know about.

 _It would almost be better if I didn't so I could ignore them_ , she thought, _but people forget how long I've been around, and how many of those girls I met from those books before we were ever more than friends_. You'd have to be one of those long-lost Japanese fighter pilots on a Pacific island not to know about Elisa Danton's place in Lee's past, but she was determined that no one was going to know how much all this was bothering her. If they did, they'd never believe the truth – what bothered her wasn't the job, but that everyone was so certain he'd fall into the honeytrap they all assumed was set for him. That "distracting" her husband had promised her later had better be damn good if she was going to be putting up with this crap all day.

She could already tell from the glint in Fred's eye which camp he was in and felt her hackles rising. He'd never really forgiven her for being the one to stick around to help Lee deactivate that missile, or rather for being the one to stick around and witness his cowardice at that moment.

"Well, hi there, Amanda!" Fred greeted her with all the false bonhomie of someone waiting to spring bad news on what he thought was an unsuspecting victim.

"Hi there yourself, Fred," said Amanda beaming brightly at him even as her hand closed into a fist of its own accord.

"Another visit to the medical centre? That's been a really long recovery for you, hasn't it? Somehow Fred even managed to make sympathy sound insulting.

"Well, it was my final checkup so now I'm cleared for field work again. You know how it is, those Agency doctors are so picky about making sure you're fully fit after a bullet through the chest. But you've been there, right Fred? You practically have your own bed in there." She couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction at watching Fred react to her reminder of how serious her injury had been, knowing that although he had managed to injure himself through his own ineptitude countless times on missions, he had always managed to avoid being anywhere near the line of actual fire.

"Um, yeah." Fred's false smile faltered slightly then came back as he went in for the kill. "So does that mean you're cleared to help Stetson with this latest field work? I hear Elisa Danton is into that kind of thing, although I don't imagine he'll want any backup in this one – more fun as a solo operation from what I hear."

"I don't think he'll need any help with this one. I've never seen a situation or an interrogation he couldn't handle."

"I hear this one will be quite the kid glove Class C interrogation – lots of sympathetic handholding. I'm sure any one of us would be willing to take this particular job off his hands if he feels unprepared for that much…close contact."

"Oh, Fred, you know Lee. He never goes into any situation unprepared. He knows how and when to use his special skills properly." Amanda was itching to slap that smirk off his face but she knew it would be a win for him if she followed that thought through – and a win for her if he thought he wasn't getting under her skin. "I know better than anyone that he can keep his cool and not go off half-cocked."

Fred stared at her through narrowed eyes. He was almost certain she was jerking him around but her smile was so sweet and her reputation for being nice so strong that he just couldn't believe she meant it to sound the way it had.

"Well" he began slowly, "I guess if anyone knows from experience how to handle a fox like Elisa Danton, it's Lee Stetson."

"I don't have any worries about how Lee in that department," said Amanda brightly. "He knows how to handle important things properly." She knew she'd landed a hit when Fred's jaw tightened at her oblique reference to that unfortunate incident with the stun gun last year.

"Yeah, it's been a while but I'm sure it will all come back to him," agreed Fred, unwilling to go down without trying to land one last punch. "After all, leopards like Stetson don't change their spots."

"Funny you should say that, Fred," said a voice Fred dreaded from directly behind him. "I've been hearing that joke a lot today and you know, leopard isn't the word I'd use to describe Scarecrow." Fred turned slowly to find Francine looking at him with a flint-hard gaze.

"Really? I've always heard him described as quite predatory in these situations."

"Oh no, I'd describe him more like a bull elephant: murderous when he's angry and a very long memory for anyone who upsets him." Francine let that shot sink in, before going on. "And you know, in the cat family, it's not the males who do all the work, it's the females who do the hunting. That's why their claws are so sharp."

Fred couldn't help it, his gaze dropped to where Francine's hand was tapping the file folder she was carrying with her long perfectly filed fingernails. He looked back at Amanda and noticed for the first time that she wasn't looking quite as friendly as normal. A slight sheen of sweat appeared on his brow and he gulped slightly as Francine went on.

"And of course, then there's the species where the female rips the head right off the male after getting what she wants. You really can't underestimate the so-called weaker sex."

* * *

"Half-cocked? You really went with that one?" muttered Francine out of the side of her mouth, a few moments later as they watched Fred hightailing it down the corridor.

"I couldn't resist – it's been a very trying day and I was fed up. But you know, it's a funny thing, Francine," said Amanda thoughtfully "I'm sure Lee mentioned you making that exact same leopard joke when he was up in the Q Bureau this morning."

"Well, that's because I've earned certain privileges after all these years like getting to bug Lee because I have the guts to do it to his face. I'm kind of like the annoying little sister he never had."

"I guess that's true – disturbingly incestuous, but true," smiled Amanda as she heard Francine choke with laughter. "You do have certain historical rights."

"I also have the privilege of knowing he _has_ changed his spots," added Francine, her gaze still on Fred and enjoying the flinch of fear he gave when he checked over his shoulder and found them still staring at him. "Loyalty really is a concept Fred has never quite grasped, isn't it?"

"Thank you, Francine," murmured Amanda. "It's good to be reminded occasionally."

Francine turned and looked at her speculatively. "You don't actually need the reminder, do you?"

"Not most days. But it's still nice to hear it." She gave her a smile before turning to walk towards the elevator. "And now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go remind Lee to wear that really foul aftershave the boys gave him for Christmas." As she turned and gave Francine a quick wink, for the first time that day, she smiled along with the laughter she could hear behind her in the corridor.


End file.
